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Jungle Cruise

  Hello, I will be your stripper, I mean Skipper today! Taking you around the exotic waters of Africa, Asia, and South America in the world's famous Jungle Cruise! The fun, mystery filled-guided adventure awaits with wild life encounters of alligators, elephants, monkeys, and more!

uh, there was a boat that never came back and a group of hunters has disappeared so.......
nevermind please enjoy the cruise!

signing off - Skipper Joe

  The Jungle Cruise is one of the rides that opened on Disneyland's 1st day of operation; amazing crowds for many years. This is one of those rides that qualifies as the "most favorite ride" for many people who visit Disneyland. Kids love this ride with its monkeys tigers, elephants and the occasional head hunter. Adults enjoy the humor and enjoy laughing at all the people who are in line for "Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Three Hour Wait " unnamed Jungle Cruise skipper.

-Thrills-
-Cools-
  This ride is very entertaining and would bright up your day if it's going bad, the skipper's have a lot of jokes in store which is never the same twice! The ride's cool is above average, the jungle animals are really realistic and the ride is really like a show kind of. No thrills here but you could get sprinkled by elephants!

Your Ratings:

Information:

Date Opened: July 17, 1955
Vehicle Type: Jungle tour boat
Theme: Ride through the jungle
Designer: WED Enterprise

Ticket Type: C (1955-1956)   D (1956-1959)   E (1959-1982)

# Major refurbishments: 7

* 1962 - Indian Elephant pool
* 1964 - African Veldt and Lost Safari scenes
* 1993 - Additions to the attraction
* 1994 - Boathouse queue
* 1995 - Rerouting of river to make room for The Indiana Jones Adventure
* 1997 - Original river boats replaced
* 2005 - Rebuilding of areas of the attraction and addition of Piranhas and updates to Trashed Camp

# Boats: 12

* Amazon Belle
* Congo Queen (Painted gold for Disneyland's 50th anniversary)
* Ganges Gal
* Hondo Hattie
* Irrawaddy Woman
* Kissimmee Kate
* Nile Princess
* Orinoco Adventuress
* Suwannee Lady
* Ucayali Una
* Yangtze Lotus
* Zambezi Miss

Facts and Secrets

Jungle Cruise Jokes

In The queue Area
Ladies and gentlemen. May I have your attention please? Due to circumstances beyond our control...the Jungle Cruise WILL be operating for the rest of the evening...Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please. Would the party that lost the roll of 50 $20.00/$100.00 bills, wrapped in a red rubber band, please report to the turnstile...we have good news for you. We have found your rubber band.

Those of you who have just entered the Jungle Cruise are probably resigned to the fact that, being at the end of the line, you have a long wait. Well, we aim to please here at the world-famous Jungle Cruise. So, on the count of three, I want everyone to turn around. One...Two...Three. There--those at the back of the line are now at the front. Doesn't that make you feel better?

Some of our scouts here at the world-famous Jungle Cruise claim they've spotted tigers in the waiting area the last couple of days. But we know that's ridiculous. After all, tigers are striped, not spotted.

Leaving the Dock

Hi my name is ________ and this is the world's most famous Jungle Cruise *Pause* is there anyone here from California? anyone from San Francisco? anyone here?

Where are you from sir/madam? [Guest answers] Sorry? [Guest repeats] Oh--I heard you the first time, I was just sorry.

Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of foreboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphosis. Is this boat actually leaving the dock? Or is it your imagination? And consider this dismaying observation: this boat is completely surrounded with water, and I'm you skipper. Which offers you this chilling challenge: to find a way out! Of course you could always swim away!!!

Bengal Tiger
A Bengal Tiger can leap twenty feet! Fortunately we're ten feet away and he would go over us and land in the bushes on the other side.

That Bengal Tiger over there weighs about 500 pounds. He's looking right at you sir/ma'am--better keep smiling.

That Bengal Tiger can jump up to 35,000 feet...out of a plane that is.

Crocodiles
And here we have some killer crocodiles. Don't worry though, they've been bolted/super glued to the rocks for their/your protection.

You know, the crocs are always looking for a hand out. Ya, but be careful, I once had an English teacher on board and she didn't listen to me and now she's teaching shorthanded.

Elephant God
On our left, Ganesha, the elephant god, holding his nose and on our right, Wiki Wiki, his brass monkey side kick.

On our left is Ganesha, the elephant god, who guards the entrance of the sacred bathing pool of the elephants.

Elephant Pool

And look at all the elephants out here today! This comes as a complete surprise to me cause I had no idea these guys were going to be here. If you want to take pictures go ahead--all the elephants have their trunks on.

And just ahead, you'll notice an alligator playing with an elephant. That's not a sight you'll see every day! [lower voice] But I will...over...and over...and over...

Squirting Elephant
As we leave the elephant pool, we head into...uh-oh--a big one is coming up on the right and it looks like he's aiming for us! [Elephant squirts over bow and goes down again, then comes up] Oh no! He's coming up again--you folks on the right get down! [Elephant doesn't squirt] Well...I guess he didn't have time to reload. [or] Well I guess he didn't have enough trunk space.

Oh no! What's this? I'll hurry up and go through. It looks like were not going to make it. Those in the back may want to duck. [after passing] You guys didn't move; you must have been frozen with fear.

Everyone in the back duck! *long pause* I just saw a duck!!

Safari Outpost
Now please, if you're wearing yellow, don't make any noises like a banana...it drives them ape!

And now we come upon a jungle encampment. It's being overrun by a bunch of women wearing fur coats. [Pause] Hey! Those are gorillas! [pause] dressed up as women wearing fur coats.
[Maynard]

You know, a lot of safaris camp around this area. Hmm....that could be one up ahead. [Points] Uh-oh...this one has some uninvited house guests! They do have a unique way of washing the dishes. [Points to water] Those gorillas sure did a sloppy job parking that jeep! But I guess monkeying around comes naturally to 'em.

Earlier these guys were having a tough time starting that jeep, but I can see that they've finally gotten it to turn over

Plants
Since we are in an area filled with rare tropical foliage, I'd like to take a moment to point out some of the plants to you. There's one, there's one... [Point left, point rear left, point right, etc]

I'd like to point out some of the plant life here on the Jungle Cruise. There's a hibiscus, a low-biscus, and that little one barking is a doggie biscus. Say, there's the Anheiser Bush, it looks ready to bud.

I here stories that those bamboo can grow to be 6 stories tall, but others say it can grow to 8 stories tall, but thats a different story!

At Schweitzer Falls
Over there is Schweitzer Falls, named after the famous Dr. Albert [pause] Falls.

To the left is the beautiful Schweitzer Falls, and if you look over here to your right....and then back to your left, you can have a second look at Schweitzer Falls.

[Not necessarily approved] Don't worry about the waterfall; it won't get you wet. The water in the falls, like everything else at Disneyland, is completely synthetic.

They say more water comes down the falls in a single minute than a man can drink in his entire life time, But I find that a little hard to swallow.

Pictures n' Photos - Jungle Cruise

The monkey's are tearing apart the camp! I knew I shouldn't have invited the in-laws!

Hey it looks like tribe-kawho-ee gone doozy

You found the Bananas! Click Here

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